When I was a kid growing up in a small town in Kansas, we had a Dairy Queen-like store. They had things like soft serve ice cream, burgers, hot dogs, french fries, and ice cream sundaes. It was a treat to get to go there as a kid.
I loved getting to think about all the choices. Did I want a vanilla ice cream cone dipped in chocolate? Did I want a chocolate ice cream cone? Or maybe a strawberry milkshake? And those sundaes were so big and looked amazing!
But I was one of four kids. And my mom would tell us what we could have. We could have a chocolate, vanilla, or chocolate and vanilla swirl ice cream cone. That’s was it. All the rest of the stuff on the menu was off limits.
I’d beg to get whatever I wanted but nope. I had three options and so did my siblings.
It was always a let down. I would choose one of the three and eat it. But the joy and fun was diminished because I didn’t really have the full choice that I wanted.
I value choice. The autonomy and freedom to make choices in my life is something I enjoy.
I think most of us enjoy having choices too. You can apply that to many areas in our life.
We like having the choice to move from one employer to the next. If your boss or the work environment is horrible, choosing to go elsewhere is a happy decision.
Many of us have made decisions in our personal lives about the people we are married to or dating. We end relationships when they no longer meet our needs or are too painful to continue investing in.
We shop for cars and decide which make, model and year will meet our needs and then buy it.
Choice. It is a universal quality or value that sustains us as human beings.
Taking it away feels controlling and manipulative.
Control gives a feeling of order, security, stability, and safety.
What happens when a person’s desire for control is so strong that it infringes on other people’s rights or well-being?
Behind almost every controlling action is fear.
“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It's true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
What are you choosing? Fear or love?
I’m choosing love.