An unfortunate reality of being human is being disappointed.
· Disappointed you didn’t get the pay raise you asked for so you could be paid more competitively.
· Disappointed you didn’t get the promotion. An external candidate was selected to fill the job instead of you.
· Disappointed you are a Director Analyst (see my previous post) and can’t have the strategic impact you expected to have in your role.
We have high moments and low moments in our days. The dog greets us with love when we wake up and when we come home. Your toddler tells you they love you. You find twenty dollars in your winter coat pocket.
Then there are the waves of grief that hit. They hit with such force that you are thrown back and can’t breathe.
· A cancer diagnosis or the death of a loved one can shift your perspective on what the future holds. It can cause you to rethink your purpose and how you spend your time and energy.
You ideally find support and connect with others going through the grief process. You share how you’re feeling and why. You find comfort in knowing you aren’t alone.
You figure out what you can control. You plan to impact those things positively. You recruit others to join you.
Suffering is the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. It seems to never end. You can’t see an end to the suffering, and you feel lost, alone, and afraid.
· You may suffer with too small of a paycheck and bills that never get fully paid.
· You may suffer after being laid off. You’ve applied to so many jobs and haven’t gotten an interview. Or you interviewed again and again and just never got an offer.
Shifting your thinking and focusing for five minutes on what you are grateful for is one way to find relief.
Looking for small moments to celebrate is another. The sun is shining as you take a walk. Your neighbor is helping you shovel snow off sidewalks on your block. Your boss thanked you. You have food to eat and a warm place to sleep.
Don’t ignore your feelings of sadness, disappointment, fear, and grief. Feel them. Cry. Be angry. Listen to sad music or watch a sad movie. Get all those feelings felt and have compassion for yourself and others.
And then take a deep breath (or many of them). Know that happiness and joy are there too. Look around and you will find those moments. You will smile again.
You get more of what you focus on. Choose wisely.
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