The first time I heard of the “Let Them Theory” was in a Mel Robbins video. This theory asserts that worrying about situations or people that we don’t have control over causes us unnecessary mental and emotional distress.

Allow people to do what they will do and stop trying to control them. Accept what you see and hear in actions and words. Then you get to decide how to react.

· A coworker is gossiping about you. Let them.

· You are being left out of meetings you should be invited to. Let them.

· The resourcing for the project you led did not happen as promised. Let them.

· The changes to total rewards you proposed are not approved. Let them.

· The software tool that would make your life easier and positively improve the company’s decision-making process and bottom-line has not been purchased. Let them.

It sounds easy but in practice it can be difficult. Especially in the workplace where our ability to influence others is often important to getting our work done or to getting initiatives resourced and completed.

I’m all for being persistent and trying multiple approaches to influencing those around you through communicating your needs and recognizing the needs of others.

Write the business case for why what you are asking for is necessary. Modify the business case to ensure it is aligned to what your audience cares about. And ensure that your request is consistent with the budget available.

And realize that “letting them” doesn’t mean you failed. Their response gives you the information needed so you can decide whether to accept or reject.

At the end of the day, you control yourself and no one else.

Accepting “what is” can be a short path to peace and ease if you let them.

Or you can choose to resist what is and suffer as you dwell on what is not within your control.

#pay #compensation #letthem #melrobbins #hr #humanresources #leadership #peace #letgo #letitbe

Source: Refinery 29 dot com