Practicing empathy at work and beyond

Stress tends to ramp up this time of year. You might experience it yourself, and you might see it playing out with coworkers, loved ones and strangers around you. New year work deadlines, ramping up of client projects, cold weather, tax season, traffic – you name it. The good news? Practicing empathy at work and throughout your daily life can help you manage stress and change your perspective a bit.

Why empathy?

Empathy has become a bit of a buzzword in recent years, but for good reason. Learning how to feel and express empathy toward yourself and others represents a keystone of emotional intelligence. It’s a fundamental human quality and experience that can shift your own mindset, as well as change the tone of the environment around you.

I am sure you have experienced this mood change at work. Think about a meeting that could have blown up in conflict, but someone reacted with empathy rather than accusations. Maybe all it took was a leader giving voice to her team’s stress levels and concern about their workloads, rather than launching into a critique of low sales numbers or missed benchmarks.

Starting with an outward focus, or understanding another person’s perspective, opens the door to more productive conversations in which a team can actively problem-solve. On the flip side, starting with a litany of problems, or by pointing fingers, will shut down a discussion before it begins.

A high level of emotional intelligence, including empathy, supports a healthier company culture and stronger morale. As reported by Forbes:

“A Yale-led study found that employees with emotionally intelligent leaders thought positively about their workplace, and when describing their work, ‘nearly two-thirds of the words they used were positive.’ On the other hand, 70% of employees with supervisors showing little emotional intelligence had primarily negative feelings about work. EI takes time to develop, and workshops and online courses are worthwhile investments for managers at every level.”

Treating your team members and colleagues as human first helps foster stronger working relationships. In an environment where people feel free to be imperfectly human, they have more room to breathe, innovate, create and problem-solve.

At work, you can apply empathy by:

Choosing non-judgement toward yourself and others. Try to avoid assigning negative labels or assumptions when things go awry. Cut yourself a little slack as well as those around you.
Listening actively. We humans have a habit of listening to respond, and that response is often seated in our own perspective and way of approaching the world. On the flip side, active listening gives you cues to the other person’s perspective, wants and needs – which may differ from your own.
Recruiting empathic leaders for teams or projects. People with high levels of empathy make great mediators and can bring opposing sides together. Seek out others in your work circle who have demonstrated this skill. Learn from them and also tap into their talents to help move your team forward.
Focusing on growth potential. Realistically assessing a project or campaign means not only identifying its weak points (aka failures) but opportunities for growth. Look for the seeds of ideas that worked, and don’t be so quick to write off the whole project as a loss. The same goes for people – including you.

Practicing empathy at home

In your home life, make a pact with yourself to listen to your loved ones with empathy. Read between the lines as they express their true needs or wants. Maybe your teenager misses her friends and would appreciate you helping organize a virtual trivia or movie night. Maybe your neighbor really needs a break from work and would appreciate a weekly neighborhood walking date (with masks, of course). Empathy allows you to better understand, and connect with, the important people in your life.

In addition, show yourself some more empathy. If deep feelings or needs begin to bubble to the surface, allow yourself space to let them emerge. Say “yes, and” to yourself rather than a knee-jerk “but…” Acknowledging our own human needs is just as important as honoring the needs of others.

With that, I wish you peace, connection and a sense of meaning in your personal and work life this year. May the new year greet you with promise and potential.

If you would like to develop your emotional intelligence skills, and apply them to your career and life, reach out to me for a complimentary strategy call. I am a certified Social + Emotional Intelligence Coach, and I love working with high achievers committed to improving their work performance so they can get paid what they are worth and have careers aligned to their values.