I was giving advice to someone recently and said, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve.” Her question to me was, “How do I know if I am settling?”

Ask yourself these questions:

Are you accepting bad behavior?
Are you excusing broken promises?
Are you accommodating people who take more than they give?
Are you bargaining with yourself about what you can do without?
Are you having to work hard to get excited to spend time with this person?
Are you making excuses for why they did something instead of feeling gratitude for how they acted?
Are you spending more time complaining instead of appreciating?
Are you tolerating behavior instead of looking forward to how they act when you are together?
Are you creating reasons to stay instead of doing what you truly want to do?
Are you physically feeling discomfort in their presence? Or are you at ease and in a peaceful state of being?

And my favorite question is, “Are you putting lipstick on a pig?”

I grew up on a farm in Kansas and one of the animals we raised was pigs. You can’t dress them up and make them something they are not.

If you’re putting lipstick on a pig, stop. It’s not pretty. They are still a pig.

(Inspired by DWR, Iyanla Vanzant, and Dr. Zeb Talley III)

#donotsettle #knowyourworth #leadyourself #coaching