I recognize that when I am talking to a potential client this is an unspoken question. I can say anything, but it is my actions over time that tell the truth.

I like the Trust Triangle model by Frances Frei and Anne Morriss.

1. Authenticity - I experience the real you.
2. Empathy - I believe you care about me and my success.

I talked to a potential coaching client today. They shared details about why they want to be paid more and as I asked questions, I realized they don’t have the leverage needed to get what they want.

Leverage is the power that one side of a negotiation has to influence the other side to move closer to their negotiating position. You have leverage when you deliver something of value that the other party wants or when you cause them to incur costs they do not want.

At the end of your life will you want one more day or more money? My assumption is that most of us will want that additional day. How would you spend it?

• I’d spend time outdoors.

• I’d talk to a friend or family member.

• I’d do something related to my spiritual well-being like pray.

A former coaching client received some negative feedback from her manager and the feedback was a surprise. Nothing negative about her performance was shared with her over the last few months. A week ago, she even received compliments on a presentation from her manager.

Now the manager said there were some things that needed to change and gave her three options: (1) stay in her current job and go on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), (2) find another job within the company within two weeks, or (3) resign and get six weeks of severance.

It is about feeling respected. And, of course, appreciated for spending our time and energy on work that may or may not be something we want to do.
 
It is about the security that money gives us. And we want the freedom and choice that comes from having enough.

If you are an employer, can you confidently answer that question?

I was working with a client recently and asked this. Here is what they said: “We target the 63rd percentile for base pay and the 75th percentile for total cash compensation. We target the 75th percentile for long-term incentives as well.”

I was giving advice to someone recently and said, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve.” Her question to me was, “How do I know if I am settling?”

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you accepting bad behavior?

2. Are you excusing broken promises?

If you are considering asking for a pay increase right now, stop and consider if your employer did layoffs. If they did, don’t ask for a pay increase.

If your employer is doing well and hitting their revenue targets or exceeding them, now may be a great time to ask for that raise.

WHEN you ask is as important as HOW you ask.

The easiest way to categorize a fad is one word: short-lived. Think of pet rocks, parachute pants, and the Macarena. It has value for a short time and then it doesn’t.

Classics are timeless. They never go out of style. They are things that hold their value.  Rolex watches. A little black dress.

A fundamental human need is learning and growth.

If your employer can't show you what jobs would be a natural next step in your career, it means they haven't invested in developing career paths.

Career paths are not difficult to define.

1 - Compare your total compensation (base pay + bonus or sales incentive + LTI/equity) to what other employers are paying for similar work. Are you paid near the 50th percentile?

Here is a list of free pay data resources: https://prosperconsultingllc.com/free-pay-data

When was the last time you received something unexpected?

Maybe it was someone paying for your coffee before you got to the cashier. A pay-it-forward drive-thru chain was in place and you reaped the benefit from kind strangers.

Someone is ahead you in the checkout line at the grocery store, and they are not able to pay for everything they selected. Someone else in line says, “Wait. I’ve got this.” And they pay for everything.

I was reminded recently that life is lived in the present moment.

Let the past be. Don’t dwell on what cannot be changed.

The future is yet to be. It will come and then it will go.

When I speak on the topic of pay negotiation, I always get asked this question. “What if I try to negotiate my offer and the employer rescinds (takes away) the offer?”

My response: “That tells you a lot about the culture of that employer.”

“We Don’t Negotiate Employer” Assumptions: They dictate what happens. There probably isn’t much room for negotiation related to resources or time to get work completed. They do not like conflict and avoid it. You must go along with what senior leaders say. No questions asked. No arguments. No sharing of context. Probably little to no empathy or compassion from senior leaders is demonstrated. You’ll get a work culture that is miserable to exist in and impossible to thrive in.

When you have long-term relationship, there is something special that happens over time.

You have this other person that shares your life and witnesses the moments. So, you can say to them, “Do you remember when Josh tried to climb that tree, fell, and broke his arm?”

When my team and I are doing an analysis on employee pay, we are always looking for employees who are under or overpaid.

When I find people who are overpaid, I ask questions:

• Do they have a rare level of expertise in something that caused the employer to pay them this much?

• Were they demoted from a higher-level job and the employer didn’t reduce their pay?

• Are they the CEO’s grandson and they got a special deal? (It happens.)

As an employer, HR Leader, C-Suite Leader, or business owner:

- When was the last time you benchmarked your jobs to the external market? Are your competitors offering more money than you are for the same work?

- Are your employees looking at job postings and the pay ranges and asking questions you don’t know how to answer?

- Are you having a difficult time attracting the talent you need to fill job openings?

Here is a process you can use to manage your team members or staff:

S = Set expectations: Do they know what you want done?

T = Training: Are they trained on how to do the work?

I remember when my kids would say this as toddlers. They did not want me to tell them what to do or how to do it.

Most adults don’t want this either.

If you want to improve the retention of your team, focus on the ABCs:

Do you value your network (your friends, family, colleagues, and others)?

Intentionally spending time with them and maintaining these relationships is critical to your well-being.

Well-being includes the physical, mental, social, emotional, spiritual, and financial components that lead to comfort, happiness, and health.